Salt, Vinegar, and Vending Machine Wounds

I’m a cheap bastard. I’ve been a cheap bastard for a long time. I just want to feel as though I get something for my money that is worth while. Maybe cheap bastard is the wrong term. I’ll spend more to feel like I got the best value. I could after all buy a cheap notebook instead of a MacBook Pro, but the pounding in the ass I’d take in usability every time I want to do something offsets the monetary expense of the transaction. So, maybe I’m a “best bang for the buck” bastard. No matter this post is about how I finally fell for the allure of the promise of salt and vinegar chips.

I’ve worked, more or less, in my present position for about 18 months. In that time I have not once conceded defeat to the vending machine. I would not partake of it’s goods. I have been down that path before. It starts with a crisp clean dollar and a dream, and ends in the nightmare of two chips, not enough change, and legal action. Never again. Then why did I find myself standing in the lunch room eagerly pressing B7? I blame my busted TV.

You see the busted TV brought home the realization that I go out to lunch entirely to often, mostly related to the expense of replacing the TV. So, I took action and started bringing my lunch. Now, here I am trapped at work with a lunch I cobbled together in 10 minutes at 4:30 in the morning. There are no salt and vinegar chips in this lunch, and yet just behind the glass there in the corner of the lunch room Рa ray of hope. Salt and vinegar chips Рkettle cooked no less Рonly 50 cents. How can I say no? I submit! The dollar goes in. I press B7. The chips fall to the bottom of the machine. Then 3 coins are ejected into the change holder below. I knew there was an issue. Three makes no sense. Why three? Why? I eagerly retrieve my change and there I find a quarter, a dime, and a nickel. Ten cents short. The anger sets in. I knew better. I check the label. Sure enough 50 cents. What did I expect? At least those two chips were tasty, and of course what other crazy shit would I ramble about without this incident.

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