I’m a cheap bastard. I’ve been a cheap bastard for a long time. I just want to feel as though I get something for my money that is worth while. Maybe cheap bastard is the wrong term. I’ll spend more to feel like I got the best value. I could after all buy a cheap notebook instead of a MacBook Pro, but the pounding in the ass I’d take in usability every time I want to do something offsets the monetary expense of the transaction. So, maybe I’m a “best bang for the buck” bastard. No matter this post is about how I finally fell for the allure of the promise of salt and vinegar chips.
I’ve worked, more or less, in my present position for about 18 months. In that time I have not once conceded defeat to the vending machine. I would not partake of it’s goods. I have been down that path before. It starts with a crisp clean dollar and a dream, and ends in the nightmare of two chips, not enough change, and legal action. Never again. Then why did I find myself standing in the lunch room eagerly pressing B7? I blame my busted TV.
You see the busted TV brought home the realization that I go out to lunch entirely to often, mostly related to the expense of replacing the TV. So, I took action and started bringing my lunch. Now, here I am trapped at work with a lunch I cobbled together in 10 minutes at 4:30 in the morning. There are no salt and vinegar chips in this lunch, and yet just behind the glass there in the corner of the lunch room – a ray of hope. Salt and vinegar chips – kettle cooked no less – only 50 cents. How can I say no? I submit! The dollar goes in. I press B7. The chips fall to the bottom of the machine. Then 3 coins are ejected into the change holder below. I knew there was an issue. Three makes no sense. Why three? Why? I eagerly retrieve my change and there I find a quarter, a dime, and a nickel. Ten cents short. The anger sets in. I knew better. I check the label. Sure enough 50 cents. What did I expect? At least those two chips were tasty, and of course what other crazy shit would I ramble about without this incident.